US Travel Guide for Germans and Friends

Photo courtesy of Go Card USA

I had planned to write this for a long time but as time progressed, I procrastinated it again and again for several reason, some of which you have already read on this blog. I am regularly surprised about how much of your energy can be sucked away by other people's mental problems.

However, last weekend I talked to a Swiss friend of mine who's going to Palm Springs, California next Sunday, and I consider this a good opportunity to get out some advice for him and all y'all, you both Germans, other European citizens and beloved Americans who might be surprised to see what idiosyncrasies foreigners can find peculiar about the US.

So here goes a list of things I noticed and/or that I had to get used to when I started traveling to the US, a country that I love with all my heart, for reasons that I can't explain to a lot of Germans because all they know is the (Bush) government. The order of the listed items is not important.

-- Outlets
No, not the outlet stores, you shopaholics! I'm talking about the outlets you plug your computers in. When you get to the US you need to be aware that your plugs don't fit. You need to buy an adapter but be aware, not only the shape is different! In the US, you have 110 instead of 230 volts. A lot of gadgets do not work with the lower voltage. However, most electrical things you'll take on a vacation, like shavers, cellphone chargers and laptop batteries, work fine.

-- Prices exclude V.A.T.
This has puzzled me several times already, and I forget about this every time I travel to the US. Prices everywhere are indicated without V.A.T. ("Mehrwertsteuer"), which is why you always have to add it on top. Probably it's not done automatically because the V.A.T. is different in every state, and some don't have any at all. That's just one aspect in which the oh-so United States are not so unified. V.A.T. is probably never going to kill you but keep it in mind.

-- Credit Cards and Debit Cards
Speaking of payment, when you travel to the US you don't really have to worry about exchanging currency or anything. Just make sure to have a credit card and a debit card with you. Weirdly enough, in the US you use credit cards to pay for pretty much every- and anything. Yes, even paying a pack of chewing gum by credit card is not unusual although it's pretty expensive for the store owner. Actually, it's rather the other way around; you're probably going to be gawked at when you pay something over about a hundred dollars in cash. Part of it is that you will probably never see a more-than-twenty dollar bill. They don't seem to exist, and people loathe carrying around a lot of cash other than single-dollar bills. So when you pay something like that in cash, people might think you stole the money somewhere.

Photo courtesy of jenn jenn

-- Bills, Coins and Tipping
And as we're already at cash and dollar bills, you better make sure that you have a few dollar bills in your pocket because you will probably need them for several reason, the main one being tipping. Tipping is huge in the states, everywhere. Much more than in the self-proclaimed "service desert" Germany, you tip everybody for their good service. And when you do, you most of the time do so with dollar bills. For some reason, although dollar coins exist, most Americans don't even know how they look. Dollar bills are everywhere but public transit systems. You tip the bus driver who helps you with your luggage on your way from your hotel to the airport and vice versa, you tip the maid who cleans your room, and -- oh yes -- the waiter at the restaurant or bar. Practically, waiters always get tipped. Always always always tip your waiter unless you have a really good reason not to. But beware even if you have a good reason. In the states you will create ruckus by not tipping, mainly because waiters live off tips there whereas in Germany, they make a living off their salary. Even the manager might come up and ask you what was wrong.

-- Checks
This is probably not going to affect you when you just go there for a visit but understand that in the US, rent, salary and tons of other things are still paid by check. The oh-so innovative United States haven't quite found their way to online banking yet, for a reason I haven't understood. So don't be puzzled when people talk about writing checks and sending them in the mail.

Photo courtesy of avlxyz

-- Food Portions and Doggy Bags
What you've seen in "Super-Size Me" is not a lie, just a little exaggerated. Food portions are bigger, and so are drinks. But don't worry, if you can't finish them, don't be embarrassed to ask them to wrap the remaining food for you. In contrast to Germany where a lot of people have problems with it, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for that in the states.

-- Healthy Food More Expensive
Germans love to complain. That pisses me off.
But humor aside, one of the great assets that we have in Germany is the incredibly affordable healthy food. Go ahead and try finding anything half-way comparable to ALDI et al. for the same price in the US. You will soon give up. Healthy food comes at an unhealthy price there, let me tell you. That contributes to their very odd fast-food culture, and frankly, some restaurants offer food at a price that's supposed to make you believe "you will never eat at home any more".

-- (American) Pizza
What Germans know as "American" pizza really isn't American at all. Pizza with broccoli and corn on it? You're hardly ever going to see that in the US. Also, when you use the term "American pizza" and by that actually mean a pizza with a thick crust, you're much better off calling it a Chicago style pizza because that's what it is for Americans. Thin-crust pizzas are called "New York style pizzas".

-- Burger Orders
Ooh, here's another huge issue for Germans who try to interact with waiters and clerks as little as possible. To make sure we're talking about the same thing, one preamble first. A burger in the US is not what Germans consider a burger. In Germany, a "burger" is the whole sandwich whereas in the US, the burger is rather just the paddy. So if you mean the whole sandwich, say so.

So on to the real difference in burger orders. When you order a burger in the US, chances are that you'll be asked what you like on it, pretty much like they do at German Subway stores as well. Here's the difference: They will expect you to say specifically what you want on it. Since Germans are not used to that, they are likely to say something like, "Well, errm, just put everything on it that's usually on it."

So have a look at what they have. America's the custom-made country so go and claim your burger the way you want it. They will be happy to serve it to you that way, and you'll cause fewer wrinkly foreheads.

Photo courtesy of sporkist

-- Clothes Sizes
This one is kinda clear, isn't it? People are bigger in the states (the calories have to go somewhere), and so the clothes are bigger, too. But in order not to make everybody see how fat they've become, a lot of brands have come to declare clothes one size smaller than their European pendants. Just take that into consideration.

-- Clothes Shopping
Speaking of clothes, here's one for you. If you like jeans, buy them in the states because they are a lot cheaper there. Americans would never consider buying jeans for $200 a pair or more like some people do here. It's not unusual to get good pairs of jeans there for $35 to $50, regular price.

-- Pronounciation of Foreign Words
Germany's great, right? We have Mercedes, BMW, Bayer, Jägermeister, Adidas and tons of other great brands that the Americans love. Ubercool! However, don't make the mistake of trying to pronounce any German brand name the way you're used to in German. When you try that Americans will look at you like you came from Mars and had a pink miniature elephant with a dozen legs on your forehead. Try Englishizing every brand, and you'll be just about understood. So for instance, say "Mörrssejdiess" instead of "Mercedes", "Bi ämm dabblju" instead of "Bee Ämm Wee", and "Adidas" is pronounced on the second syllable in the US, not the first. Finally, "Bayer" is pronounced "Bähr" in the states.

-- Ice In Your Drink
Don't like ice in your drink? Order without because otherwise, they'll put ice in all drinks apart from coffee.

-- Cars: Mileage
Are you a car fanatic? Excited or anxious about gas prices or how far cars can go with a tank of gas? Then know this: mileage is not, like in Germany, calculated in how many liters you need for 100 kilometers but in how many miles you can drive with one gallon. Yeah, here's a real brain teaser. To give you a little hint, 15 miles per gallon (or less) is a shitty mileage, 25 is okay and everything more than 35 is pretty good.

Photo courtesy of b_a_r_t

-- Smart Cars
Another comment on cars. Americans are used to very big cars. They buy SUVs (sports utility vehicles) like the BMW X5 even when they have no use for it. Bigger is better, still. Right now, sales are rightfully declining but they're a lot behind European gas saving standards. Anyway, when Americans see a Smart car on the streets nowadays, chances are that they will actually stop and gawk at it, in serious disbelief that something like this can actually be car. I have been told of situations in which cars stopped so that the drivers could get out and look at a Smart.

-- Fahrenheit Instead of Celsius
This one's obvious but it needs to be listed. Americans use the Fahrenheit temperature scale, just the way they use miles instead of kilometers, feet instead of meters and so on. Get used to it.

If you want to calculate °F into °C, here's the formula:

T_C = (T_F - 32) · 5/9

The other way around, this is what you do:

T_F = T_C · 1,8 + 32

To give you a hint,

0°C are 32°F
10°C are 50°F,
20°C are 68°F,
30°C are 86°F,
40°C are 104°F.

-- Sociability (The "How are you" Principle")
Forget your stupid-ass German way of treating people when you go to the states. Be nice and say hello if nothing else. Say hello or even "hi, how are you doing" when you go into any store, restaurant or shop. Just do it. Americans also approach each other for no reason on the street. E.g. they will tell you that they like your shorts or shoes, that you as a runner put them (walkers) to shame and so on. It's just what they do, and it's nice that they do. Don't try avoiding them like oncoming traffic at night on a country road, like most Germans do.

And don't worry, nobody is going to actually make you talk to them if you don't want to, and nobody's going to murder you because you're polite and friendly. They're just being nice; show them a little courtesy. And to make things easier, "How are you" is often even an answer to the same question. So if you want to have a conversation, you have the chance. If you don't, then, well, just don't. But say hi and be nice.

-- Washer Settings
This is going to concern you only if you actually wash your clothes but just know that most washing machines in the US do not feature temperature settings. Americans like to choose only among "hot", "warm" and "cold".

Photo courtesy of chelzerman

-- Water Faucets
This can puzzle you, let me tell you. A lot of water faucets in showers and such in the US only have one handle, and you can only turn it in one direction, in a circle, for instance. So you might be going crazy looking for a way to regulate the temperature. The thing is, Americans are not yet used to water-saving so how their faucets work is this: You turn the water up all the way, and when you turn the handle further you will regulate the temperature with it.

-- Toilet Paper
Say hello to single-ply paper. Three or even four layers of paper? Pfff, forget it. Toilet paper in the states is most of the time of extremely poor quality. Just take more.

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Last Note on Immigration Into the US
Some last basic rules about flying to the US.

If you can, try to avoid connection flights in the US. Change planes in Paris, Amsterdam or London if you must but if possible, avoid changing a plane in the US because immigration can at times take very long, and chances are not so bad that you will miss your connection flight and have to spend a night at the airport in Atlanta, Chicago, New York or anywhere else. At your own expense. However, if that actually happens to you, be informed that your best shot is being extremely nice to the guys at the airline counter. They can give you good rates or even, at times, a room for free. But it's entirely up to them. If you're nice and get their sympathy, your chances are much better that you get the good deal at the end.

If, however, you must disobey my rules and fly through a hub, allow for enough time in between. I try to have three hours between landing and take-off, two are the very least.

Also, when at immigration, be friendly and polite to the officers questioning you. You will sometimes be asked very stupid questions, and by the time you get there, you might be worn out, tired and, frankly, pissed off. Some will also be startled by them taking their fingerprints and photograph. But in any case, be nice and friendly, even after a long flight and even if the questions are really really really stupid. It's for your own good. See it this way, the people questioning you are most of them very poorly educated and paid, and with a respectable inferiority complex, people tend to abuse their power in any way possible. If you give them a reason to.

Weirdly enough, as soon as you actually pass immigrations, flying is done in a snap, and you hardly have any security at all.

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So dude, have fun in Palms Springs! If you still have any questions, let me know!