So what else is new

Photo courtesy of mulf.

Two things to start off with.

The first one deals with a mild version of the writer's block. You could call it the writer's amnesia. I had not written a blog entry for so long that I thought there was just nothing to talk about. The truth is, of course, that there are tons of things to talk about. So many, actually, that even the most enthusiastic readers among you might consider never coming back here an actual option.

Ever since I started this entry -- and it's been several weeks since I did -- I have come across a variety of thoughts I consider tellworthy. So don't act surprised if I come up with them at some point. :)

Truth is also, and this is the second thing to start with, life has been great with me. Ironically enough, when things are great there is hardly anything to talk about. When you meet somebody and you tell him things are great, that's pretty much the end of story. If, however, one of the participants is currently wading through an ocean of feces, chances are you have days of interesting conversation ahead of you. Assuming that the other one cares, of course.

I should actually give a thought to renaming this blog to "Whiny Bitch", just like a friend recommended a while back. A blog is just wonderful to vent, and for all I know, venting can be a lot of fun to readers if it's done right. Also, bitching provides you with many fun topics for blogs. :)

So how have things been recently anyway?

Job-Wise

I'm doing well and enjoying my work. Last February I got a new colleague to help me with sales (which has been my official focus since January), and until the CEOs finally decided (at the end of March) that she did not quite meet the requirements, and ended her probation period in the beginning of April, I was on a rocky path. It is quite peculiar to see how an ill-fitting coworker can change your work environment altogether.

Also, and I think that this is a much more important point, I have reason to believe that now rather than before, both CEOs seem to have started trusting me. Truth is (it's many truths that I'm hitting you here, isn't it?) that if your bosses don't trust you, your work can meet pretty much any requirements with regards to content, you'll never make it in the company. That's even more true in a company of the size of mine (30 employees).

Personally

Robert and I are doing well. At least I think so. Sometimes, out of the blue, we'll have very odd discussions, sometimes even arguments, but the weird thing is that I sometimes wonder if I'm part of it. I often actually marvel at what's going on, thinking that whatever is blowing wind my way at that moment has hardly anything to do with me. Admittedly, after the last two relationships that ended by me being the last one to be told that "things didn't work out" (after his friends, at least), I'm probably more suspicious than most people. Yet, sometimes things come up that I don't yet know how to work with. Sometimes I have the "weird" feeling that I rather tripped on something I didn't place there.

But overall, I think we're doing very well. Honestly. I took Robert to a computer art festival recently, again, and this time he even joined the organizers team. It was great to have him there, and I think he enjoyed it a lot, too. Hell, the demoscene is just a peculiar little cozy place.

Friends

One thing I noticed that is remarkable to me. You might remember that I moved to Frankfurt last year in May. Two and a half months later I met Robert who has been to Frankfurt almost 40 years. This leads to a very interesting paradox:

On the one hand, he has many (also long-term) friends whom we meet on a more or less regular basis. Of course, they're his friends. Now, if you consider that I had hardly ever had any contact with anybody in Frankfurt, it is clear that I have no long-term friends in Frankfurt. Of course I met people in Frankfurt when I had moved here but they're just not long-term yet. This leads to the strange paradox that on the one hand we always meet (his) friends and act long-term, but on the other hand I have next to none of my own and can hardly try to find my own friends.

Imagine this, and actually it rather works with gay men than with straight people.

You move to a new city, and you're single. You start meeting, maybe dating people and just see where it goes. So did I. Not that my dates were meant for sex. Au contraire, ma chère. I intentionally did not look for sex but for friends. Sex is always an option, whether you've wasted all your chances to make friends or not. At the time I wanted to make friends.

Now that I'm with Robert, I of course don't hook up with guys on Gayromeo any more, just to "see where it leads", friendship, a Frankfurt guide, a downright boring conversation, or (so God will) sex.

The weird thing is that now I act like I have many long-term friends in Frankfurt while, really, I don't, and I don't have the realistic chances to change it, at least not the way I used to. Well, at least I have colleagues that I enjoy having a beer with at times.

The Whiny-Bitch Part

What's currently taking more of my attention that I'd ever want are two things.

First of all, I'm just effing fed up being told what does NOT work. Like just now when I suggested to an acquaintance to get together some time for dinner or so, and he replies that on weekends it usually won't work because he's busy. Now, he just wanted to be Facebook friends so I assume he'd like to get together somehow some time. Now, if that is the case, why can't he effing tell me what WOULD work? Why are there so many people on Earth who concencrate on what does NOT work?!?

Secondly, I have been dealing with a lot of lack of precision, and I hate that. People come to me saying, "Hey, you're a lawyer, can you make me a privacy disclaimer." The conversation usually goes like this.

"Hey, can you make me a disclaimer?" -- "Sure. What would you like to be in it?" -- "It's a standard privacy disclaimer." -- "Okay, but what would you like to be in it?" -- [silence]

They seem to be convinced that lawyers are mind-readers. I should get myself a glass ball.

I'll sign off with these words for now but several things have come up in my mind recently so I might get to writing more again soon. Have a wonderful rest of the week!