Of course nothing I didn't already know

Photo courtesy of HAMED MASOUMI

Doesn't it make you feel great when you can help people out? That is the case for me at least. In fact, when I see that I have cast a warm feeling in somebody, or sometimes even just a faint smile, my world is filled with a golden gloom I wouldn't dare even begin talking about. All y'all would think I'm gay, and I hate that.

Following up is a short conversation that happened on one of my chat/cruising platforms yesterday the last two days. I would like you to participate in the thankfulness I sometimes receive. Names replaced, orthography slightly corrected for your reading convenience. I put his parts that I especially loved in italics.

SouthernGuyIntoYoungerGuys writes on 03/31 at 01:43 pm,

Your profile is very interesting. As I am growing into a "Daddy" by age, and was never into daddies, could you please explain to me what a 'daddy type' is? I always liked younger guys so could never see why anybody would like older guys.

Than you for some insight.

Chris

My reply, 03/31 10:08 pm,

Hi Chris,

It's hard to tell, really, but the fascination for older men has to do with the maturity, at least for me. I like men who have seen parts of the world that I haven't, who are relaxed about things that bother younger guys, men whose bodies are also physically older.

If you don't share a fascination it is always hard to tell. but be assured that there are people out there you actually do like older men, just like that. My partners have been always at least 15 years older.

I hope this helps.
/pöt

The next day, I get his response to that, 04/01 10:36 am

I appreciate you taking time to give me some insight. I need some more and you may know something I don't since you are European. There is this young guy on here '[nickname]', lives in India and really wants me to travel to India and he will then show me all around. I am an adventurer and a risk taker so I'm up the experience. I'm also cautious because having lived in NYC and being older I know things aren't always what they seem. There is a lot of evil and danger out there.

Could you give me your read on this?

"I need some more", great, but it fits perfectly because my sole purpose in life is to fulfill the needs of people whom I don't know the least bit. And the "There is a lot of evil and danger out there" part is totally up my alley, too. I just love this image of the world, dominated by evil and danger. Hitler and Hussein rule!

Anyway, my answer, 04/01 12:47 pm,

I of course know next to nothing about this [nickname] guy, other than what his profile says. However, this is what I'm reading.

You are cautious, otherwise you wouldn't have written to me, I guess. So you seem to feel that something is wrong. Usually our intuition tells us right, even if we don't listen or interpret its messages wrongly. It's basically up to you to decide whether your feeling that something isn't right is coming from him or inside of you. This young guy might be perfectly fine, and yet you could be suspicious.

Try listening to what your heart tells you.

What I read out of his profile is this:
He doesn't write a lot but he doesn't sound very focused or realistic. All he wants is an older man, for an LTR if I read this correctly.
If he wants you to travel all the way to India, he is looking for something.

Sometimes what people look for is just affirmation: "Am I worth enough for somebody to travel across the globe to meet me?"

Remember, the less somebody knows about you, the less he has experienced of you, the more he's actually dealing with his ideas of you. Often when it comes to a meeting in reality, these ideas don't match the person, which again causes difficulties.

I'd say you should try webcamming with him first and see how you get along. If -- via webcam or any other way -- you receive a genuine and caring feeling that has to do with you and not just his idea of you, you're good to go, I think.

And let's face it. If you have the money to fly to India for something like this, you should be fine to get along alone in India as well. It's not that expensive, and if push comes to shove, you can always just fly back prematurely.

If you want to hear my experiences:
I flew to San Diego, California last summer after weeks of webcam chatting with a guy there. It turned out...let's say...a very valuable lesson for me. I mean it, the first 1.5 weeks were not very pleasant because he turned out all different than I thought. The second half was great. All in all it was one of the most valuable lessons in my life.

Then again, I met a man from LA in Florida this February, for roughly ten days. We had webcam chatted for almost 85 hours prior to our meeting (I summed the times up later, that's why I know), and we had a marvelous time together, not exactly sexually, but I found a great friend there.

So either way, it'll be an experience that will probably change your life.

Ultimately,
1. listen to your heart, and
2. don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone.

Iif you do these two things, you're going to be more than fine. You'll be great.

I hope this helps.

All the best!
/pöt

And now his final response, 04/01 01:10 pm,

Great advise and of course nothing I didn't already know. Especially how we make things up in our heads and then the MEETING of expectations. lol It does sound like an adventure!

You've been great.

Chris

With all willingness to be the change that I want to see in the world, there is just one more thing that I wholeheartedly like to add.

Photo courtesy of Gigi Elmes

Fuck you.